Listen to others?
As if everyone were my Master
Speaking to me
The quality of your listening determines the quality of your relationship with others. In life and at interview!
As an interviewee you want be heard, listened to. To be seen. To be known and, understood. You want recognition for your talent, with all its relevance, power and brilliance. And humble, you want to shine with possibility of positive performance and contribution.
Given your desire for attention and recognition for your talent, you may incline to to talk too much; to tell all! Don’t. It might cost you the job.
Trained interviewers know the etiquette of the 30/70 ratio of the conversational dance. They know you’re there to talk most and they know, it’s their job to create the space for you do so. Your job is to recognise that, and honour the space with wisdom, relevance and respect.
Let the interviewer fully gift you the question. Take a breath, pause. Be seen as calm and collected.Ask for clarification as required. Buy time…that’s a good question, let me find the best example or simply sit in silence for a couple of seconds.
To Jump in, ramble on and stride mindlessly through with rampant repetition and over-emphasis, will render you and the audience lost and frustrated. Clarity of communication matters. Less is more. Response trumps reaction and quality trumps quantity. Every time!
Your ego has done its job; it’s provided the focus and motivation to get you to interview. Thank it and invite it to take the back seat. From here-on-in your heart and soul’s got it!
How might it feel to invite your heart and soul to run the show? To trust, you’re ready. To have faith in your wisdom, with all its experience and knowing. To ground yourself so that strong in your body and voice you are truly present.. and inviting your heart to soften and open, you remain curious throughout the meeting. Curiosity crafts the deepest of questions.
When you side step your ego’s agenda with attachment to outcome you become curious, open and attentive. You get to listen, really listen. You hear the whole question – its content and meaning and you tune to the interviewers tone. Do this well and your answers rise with ease; note now they land and resonate. Do this with openness and genuine interest and you quickly connect with the interviewer and what’s they’re really searching for.
Detached from outcome, conversationally connected, grounded, open and trusting you can be present to each unfolding moment of the interview. Released from the need to prove yourself. To fit in. Know it all and tell it all. Instead, you turn to listen. One of the most underrated leadership talents!
When you do this well you get to choose. Yes or No. This or that. Or, neither!
…we may miss the everyday conversational essence of destiny: our future influenced by the very way we hold the conversation of life itself; never mind any actions we take or neglect to take.
David Whyte.Extract from Destiny in Consolations.