Trust You Have All That You Need…

17th August 2014

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I’ve written a book!

I love the sound and feel of those four words. In way’s I could never have imagined when I said YES to writing and publishing a book in 13 weeks!

I share my new thing, not to inspire you to write a book- though it might! Rather to explore what it is we experience when we say YES.

When YES is the only thing  we can say, despite its potential for failure and pain.

Quickly you soar high and quickly you fall. Crushed under the weight of fear.

Your stories. Self-doubts. Not good enough tales. Overwhelm. Paralysis. As you connect to  the enormity  of your yes. And with it,  you stand halted in front, yet out of reach, of  your dreams.

Say hello to resistance. Its here to help. To keep you safe. Resistance’s greatest fear is that you’ll fail. Make a fool of yourself. Have people laughing behind your back. Whispering, ‘who does he/she think they are’?

Ignore it and it only gets louder. More insistence. ‘Someone’s done this before.’ You have nothing to say.’ ‘You’re not smart enough.’ ‘Once done, it wont perfect.’ The voice of my resistance!

‘In the name of safety’, is a rouse. What resistance really sets out to do is stop us from stepping up. To being all we can be. For doing what we’re born to do.

Aside of running my first marathon in 3 hours and 30 minutes, writing this book as been the most expansive and transformational thing I’ve ever done. One of my proudest moments, you might say!

With both I got to know, trust and love myself more.

This is what I learnt

Your stories are just that. Stories.

My story of being a great beginner and lousy finisher was a lie. Childhood criticism of being too big for my boots was also a lie!

I punched the air with wide-faced grin on signing the contract. Seconds later a familiar story kicked in, what if you don’t finish it…write a book. What if you’re deluding yourself you can write. How many times have you had  grandiose ideas only to abandon them days later?

We all have our stories. Our held on to failures. Childhood put downs. Opinions of others.

The pre-determined DNA genetic predispositions we cling to for certainty, safe in knowing we can’t change these bits about ourselves, so no point trying!

At the end of the day they are simply stories. Created. Figments of imagination. Re-writable. Erasable.

Everything’s been done before but not your way!

Nothing is truly original. Not Iliad or Shakespeare. Not your’s or mine creative endeavours. Its all been done before!

Yes! There are lots of books talking about what I’ve talked about and, each speaks with a different voice. Owns an alternative perspective, a unique point of view.  A different style of story telling for a different audience. And the world still needs your voice.

Claim your authority you have something to say. 

One of my greatest fears was that I wouldn’t find the words. Wouldn’t know what to say. And if I did, would it matter? Would they be relevant and useful. At the very least!

It turned out to be an irrelevant fear. The words came. Some with ease. Others required quiet reflection. Ordering. Cups of tea. And some of the trickier ones, needed tough love and  thesaurus interventionism!

And they came. When ready. And, when trusted to. 20,000 of them. And, for that I will be eternally grateful for.

Listen to your resistance and chose your response 

I watched out for resistance. Named it when it showed. Spoke to it. Thanked it for caring. And, then pushed through. Or, on other occasions surrendered. Put aside what I was doing, without self-flagellation and found something easier to do.

There was one condition;  the easier thing had to have be moving closer towards my goal. Towards the completion of the book. Otherwise resistance still had the power!

You are are disciplined and driven. If you want to be!

Five days before the manuscript was due to be with the publisher I got sick. I never get sick!

I had the final chapter to start and finish and had decided to re-write two others. I sat in fear with my overwhelm for nearly a day. Crying and achieving nothing!

Then something shifted. I re-connected with the joy of having said YES! And, why it had mattered.

I re-created my ‘alter,’ fresh flowers, candle, crystals and cards. And sat writing. One word after the other. Tuning with love and tenderness I listened for what my body, heart and soul called for.

Rested. Walked. Danced. Green juice. Pots of tea. Whatever I felt to do. And, the words came, for five days, right to the end of the very last sentence at 4.29am on 11th August.

“I finally get, that as we step up for new challenges we’ve already been blessed with exactly what we need to succeed. It is in trusting, that makes it so.”

Next time you yell YES because its the only word you can say, accept resistance is close behind. And know that you have all you need to walk through it towards expansion and joy.

Here’s to us all stepping through resistance, to do what we’re born to do!